gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
