so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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