Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
