She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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