she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
