Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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