Im at strip club and am horny
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
