make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
