Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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