he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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