of course. lets lasso hookers.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
