The maid of honor just puked.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
