He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
