It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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