brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
