We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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