Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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