Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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