I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
