You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
