garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
