Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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