if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Randomize