remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
