whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
