Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
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