im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
