I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
So many bounce houses so little time
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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