So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
either way he was missing a nipple.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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