i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
