Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
