i just wanna soil my oats bro
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
