I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
