Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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