We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
