remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
