You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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