whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
