So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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