Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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