Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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