My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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