I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
