She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
