I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I need to align my fucking chakras
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
