Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
