My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
