what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize