its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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