just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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