She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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