yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
