when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he puts the penis in happiness.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
