Don't you send me to vm
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
