All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
