My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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