So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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