you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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