WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
