absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
